Mark's Blog

On Saturday, I presided over the wedding of two young people in their mid to late twenties. I’m going to hide their names for the sake of their privacy, but I wanted to share with you some of the thoughts that I shared with them.

We opened with this prayer:

Almighty God, our Father in Heaven, we come before you today, celebrating the wishes of Him and Her to be joined together in holy matrimony. We ask not only for your blessing on them, Father, but we pray for your Spirit to seal their vows both to you and to each other. Purify their hearts, Father, and pour into them the selflessness that will allow the miracle of two becoming one to happen, the same selflessness that Jesus showed by emptying himself and becoming flesh, so that we might have life.  Do this miracle today, Father, in the hearts of Him and Her, so that they will praise you as the Creator of their marriage and all good things—as we all praise your name and the name of Jesus.  Through Him we pray, Amen

Here we are, the day you have been looking towards, planning for, and dreaming about for a long time.  You both have been raised in Christian homes and have a living, personal faith, so it should be no surprise to you when I say that followers of Jesus have a view of marriage that is a bit different from that of the culture that surrounds us.

Many around us see marriage as just “a piece of paper,” “a legal document” that creates a new legal relationship. Christians recognize the right of governments to regulate legal relationships like this–but in the words that the Church once used on occasions like this, Christians don’t just get married, they enter into holy matrimony.

And the differences between that “piece of paper” and holy matrimony are vast—and ones that, if you will pay attention to them, will shape and bless your relationship and your life together as you go forward from this beautiful beginning.

The biggest difference between marriage and holy matrimony is that with a license, a few legal words, and a couple of signatures two people can be married; whereas, for holy matrimony to occur God Himself must act.  Just as God literally created the first marriage, introducing Eve to Adam, Scripture says it is God who joins you two together in holy matrimony.  So when you celebrate your first, your fifth, and your fiftieth anniversary, instead of saying, “Look what we did,” perhaps you will remember what we have said today, and you will say, “Look what God did! Thank you, God!”

Another difference between marriage and holy matrimony is that marriage is legal, but matrimony is holy. In other words, the relationship that you are entering into is one that is set apart for God.  The Apostle Paul said, Don’t you realize that your bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourselves. (1Cor.6:19)

So when God joins you together, then together—with your bodies—you become a holy temple where God lives.  Fill your temple with love, with good deeds, with compassion. And put up big walls and barriers! Fight against anything that would defile or desecrate the temple of your marriage. Protect your marriage against evil and darkness in every form.

And never forget that this beautiful temple of your marriage is where God lives! He is there, not as an intruder to judge you nor as a guest to complicate your life; He lives in your marriage and brings with Him love and forgiveness and mercy and kindness and goodness and patience and endurance and compassion and everything Good into your marriage all the days of your lives together.

As you make your pledge and say your vows today, remember that you not only are asking God to do a miracle in making the two of you into one, but you are also inviting Him to live with you, to always be a part of your life together. Live every day of your marriage in His presence.  His promise is to work everything that comes to you in life—the good and the bad—for your Good and to be with you always.

Having recognized the holiness of what you are doing and having acknowledged what God will do, let’s proceed with our part in this mysterious miracle of God joining Him and Her together.

We then, of course, took their pledge and heard their vows to each other, after which they exchanged rings as symbols of their vows.  We then prayed that God would seal their love and join them together as one.  Finally, the Pronouncement:

He and She, because you have expressed your desire to enter into holy matrimony and because you have committed yourselves to be married before God, as a minister of the Gospel and in the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, I pronounce you husband and wife.  “Since they are no longer two but one, let no one separate what God has joined together.”

And we ended with a kiss—a holy one, I’m quite sure!