I was caught off guard the other day in a conversation about fund-raising. We are just beginning our month-long annual fund-raising drive for the Let’s Start Talking Ministry, and I was talking to the staff about who we were going to be calling. Leslee spoke up and said, “Well don’t call Charlie Marshall (name changed) because he hates to be asked to give!”
Now I know Charlie pretty well. He does mission trips with LST every year and is a strong advocate at his church for this ministry, so I was a bit shocked to hear that he doesn’t like to be asked to give to the ministry. Here are the reasons that I came up with—and I wonder if they are generally applicable to more people than just Charlie??
- He spends lots of his own money financing his own LST mission trips, so that should be enough.
- He does his charitable giving for missions through his home church and thinks everybody should.
- He doesn’t have any more money to give and is embarrassed to say no.
- He has more money to give, but doesn’t want to and doesn’t want to have to say so.
Maybe you can think of other possibilities?
Then I was having another conversation with missionary friends of ours who work in Africa. I was asking about a situation where some African brothers were asking LST to finance their church building project and a car—which is totally outside of LST’s mission. He was reminding me that in many parts of Africa, asking for things from those who appear to have them is just like breathing. It is a survival technique that is not at all considered “begging,” or anything else that we westerners might find demeaning.
He then told me that just as it is natural for them to ask for what they feel they need, it is perfectly ok with them for you to say No as well. He was telling me about how African preachers sometimes come to him and ask why the Americans get so upset when they are asked for something!! Interesting, isn’t it!
I think a lot of us are Charlies who don’t like to be asked for money—maybe other stuff as well, but especially money, but here is a point I need you to think about
What if God were just like us—and didn’t want to be asked for anything, especially something that was His?
Our prayers would be a lot shorter, wouldn’t they! In fact, as I think about asking and giving, several biblical texts come to mind that make me think that God is much different from us.
- Matthew 5:42 – Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.
- Matthew 7:7 – Ask and it will be given to you. . . .
- Matthew 7:11 – . . . how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
- John 14:14 – You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it
- James 4:2 – You want something but don’t get it. . . . . You do not have, because you do not ask God.
Doesn’t this sound like it is OK with God to be an asker—in fact, He desires it! I believe that means for me that if I am trying to be godly that it is OK , not only for me to ask others, but to be asked by others!
So my conclusion is that I am going to choose not to be offended when asked for something. And I am not going to be embarrassed if I cannot fulfill the request and must say no. It’s a very liberating decision actually.
And where I would really like to get to is to be as God is described in Ephesians 3:20: “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask. . . .” If we love others like God loves us, then it will give us great pleasure to be asked for something we can give—and we will give more than we were even asked for!
I have a great illustration of a personal experience with someone already like this: Byron Nelson, one of the greatest golfers ever and a generous Christian. It’s longer, so I’ll post it next.
Mark's Blog 
If I could give without giving anything up, I too would be happy (desire) to be solicited by all. God can do this; we cannot. God’s generosity and the generosity of a human are not of the same species of thing.
On the second point, getting back happiness is certainly an argument for giving. Solicitors should use this to their advantage. Of course, giving in order to get back happiness is not the same as unselfishness. Unselfish human action seems like an oxymoron.
Of course, God’s giving is unlike ours because after giving he is still as rich as before. We can only cheerfully give up money when we feel that what we get back exceeds in value what we gave up. This is why we especially like bargains like 2/1 meals. We think we are getting more than our money’s worth.
So to create a cheerful giver, he needs to not be impoverished any by the gift. He can get goods like riches in heaven or reputation enhancement or salve for the conscience. It is not much fun to be prodded by guilt or shame.
I understand what you are saying, Howard, but let me just mention two ideas that I have in response. First, the emphasis in my post was on God’s willingness–even desire–to be
asked
. Even the wealthiest of potential donors can develop an antipathy to being asked, even if the “loss” of a donation is hardly noticed. God, however, seems to delight in being asked and giving from his abundance. Generosity is a godly trait.
Secondly, Jesus commended the widow who gave her two mites in spite of the fact that she got only a smile from God in return. I’m pretty confident that a joyful giver–even without the promise of anything substantial in return– will be more blessed (happierworks for me too!). I totally agree that a “shamed” or “guilty” giver probably does not receive the same joy.
A joyful and unselfish “ask,” followed by a joyful and unselfish response would seem to be the best transaction.
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