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Archive for the ‘Raising Children To Have A Heart For Missions’ Category

Tips For Taking Grandkids On Mission Trips

Posted in Christian Missions, Family and Marriage, Raising Children To Have A Heart For Missions, Traveling Thoughts, tagged , , , , on December 10, 2013| Leave a Comment »

20131122_174550I wrote last week about the wonderful experience we had with our granddaughter Anna the last week we were in Europe for LST. Again, taking your grandkids with you when you do mission work is truly a formative memory for them. You can leave them no greater legacy than to show them what faithfully doing God’s work can be.

But there are some tips I can give you for making your trip more rewarding for both you and your grandchildren.  Let me just say that Sherrylee and I took our three children with us every summer of their lives until they were college-aged, we have sent many other families with children through LST, and now we have begun taking grandkids with us, so we have lots of experience to share with you.

Tip #1            –           Make sure they are old enough.  If they are your own children, you can take them at every age, but for grandkids, they need to be able to function for an extended time away from their parents. In my experience, 11 or 12-years-old is about as early as you want to start. In fact you have a window between 11 and 14 when it is probably ideal.

  • They may need to be old enough to fly by themselves.  Our two granddaughters both flew individually as unaccompanied minors across the Atlantic by themselves. Of course, a flight attendant always escorts them on and off the plane, but they still had to negotiate the nine-hour flight on their own.
  • At this age, they should be able to entertain themselves (reading, listening to music, video games, etc) when you are busy, but they can also visit with and relate to adults—especially at meals.
  • They also are old enough to try new foods—more or less—and when they don’t like what is served, they don’t make a big fuss, but wait until later to catch up.
  • They are old enough to understand and manage their own jetlag.
  • They are old enough to want to make their own memories, by taking pictures, keeping a journal, or collecting postcards.
  • They are old enough to carry their own luggage and keep up with their own things. (If you teach them to travel light, this shouldn’t be a problem.)

Tip #2            –           Make your plans early enough

  • Their Mom and Dad need to be fully on board with the plans, of course.
  • Determine early on who is going to pay for what.  With ours, the parents paid for the flights and the extra site-seeing costs. We provided ground transportation, lodging, and most meals. Since the kids slept in the room with us, that was rarely an extra expense. Since we almost always rent a car and drive ourselves, that too was no extra expense.  And until they are teens, they really don’t eat that much either.

Tip #3            –           Make sure everybody knows and understands that it is a mission trip             and that the work comes first! 

  • For our gkids, that means that they travel on our itinerary to places we must go and they see the people that we need to see. Our time with them is not built around showing them Europe.

Tip #4 –          Of course you try to squeeze into the schedule something especially                           interesting for the gkids.

  • For our first foray with a grandkid, we spent an hour in Ghent, walking the pedestrian zone before our meeting with the missionaries. Then we stopped at the Heidelberg castle for a walk on the grounds, not even a tour, on our way to the airport in Frankfurt the day before we flew back. The next year with her we planned one day out of eight for an outing in Paris.
  • This year we planned one day out of nine for sightseeing, so we drove to Amsterdam and saw Anne Frank’s house and museum and then went to Zaanse Schans (about 30 minutes further down the road) to a chocolate museum and an open air dutch village full of working windmills. The one other touristy thing we did with her was the Night watchman tour one afternoon in Rothenburg, where we were attending the Euro-American conference for three days.
  • You can sometimes get free layovers in London or other great sight-seeing places either going or coming home. We did that this year, which gave us half a day and an evening in London. We just saw the London Tower and Phantom—but she loved it.
  • Of course these were all fun and special for them, but I hope you can see that we made a balanced effort to do something special for the kids, while not really taking anything away from the work we were there to do.

Tip #5 –          Don’t be afraid to go one on one with your grandkid!

  • We are tempted sometimes to take two at a time, or to let them invite a friend—but I’d suggest you resist that and just take one!  Each one will have their own story then, and you will know that you have made an impact on that one child’s life.  If they are alone with you, then your experiences together will be yours. If they have another friend with them, you will lose many of those special moments you might have had.

Tip #6 –        Give them something meaningful to do!

  • Regardless of the kind of mission trip you are doing, find something meaningful that your grandchild can do. On LST projects, they often read the Gospel with other children. Or they entertain smaller children while the parents read. On our trip this year, we attended a missions conference, so Anna not only participated in the youth program, but she helped work with the younger children.  Meaningful is the key word here.  Even children know when they are just being given busy work or when they are just accessories.

Tip #7 –          Help them remember!

  • With our oldest grandchild, we talked a lot of history as we drove. We told her all about the Reformation and World War II.  Since we’ve returned, we’ve “reminded” her of some of those conversations, even occasionally giving her a little something to remind her of something we talked about.  Just keeping memories alive.
  • With our next grandchild that we took this year, our experience was completely different in that while we drove around, we played “Who Came First” with Bible characters, and we sang and sang and sang.  I’m thinking about making her a Playlist of “Songs We Sang in Germany” or something like that to help her remember.
  • In addition, for both of them, we have given them a photobook with our pictures of them and their activities with us—all the good times!  I’m pretty convinced that most of our childhood memories are directly from pictures that we have seen over and over again.  These photobooks are a very inexpensive way of capturing those memories and giving them to our grandkids in a more permanent and accessible medium than anything digital.

Just do it!  If you put God first, and just enjoy the grandkids, it will be a great experience for both of you!

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Raising Kids With A Heart For Missions: Teach Kids, Don’t Just Let Them Happen!

Posted in Raising Children To Have A Heart For Missions, tagged , , , , , , , on November 3, 2010| 2 Comments »

Several of you have commented on this series or have written with specific questions, and I just want you to know how much I enjoy hearing from you!  One of your comments that I have heard several times is how much you appreciate the concrete suggestions that I offer you for raising children with a heart for missions.

I have observed a certain reticence in many younger parents that we are around, a hesitance to be both concrete and confident in their own child-rearing ideas.  I’d like to just talk with you briefly about knowing what you are doing because I think it is pretty important if you want to raise children with hearts for the mission of God.

Post-modernism says that you can’t be certain. Most young couples are highly influenced, if not completely post-modern in their thinking, and so this worship of relativity has framed their thinking about child-rearing as well.  It’s suggested in all kinds of common remarks:

  • You don’t just want to indoctrinate your kids!
  • Each child just has to find his/her own path.
  • I don’t want to over-control my kids.
  • Who knows what they will become!

The best lies have a certain truth to them, and so it is with these comments! But for Christians, there are other Words that are more important than what we hear from our surrounding culture.  Try these Words and see if you can get comfortable with them.

Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone.[a] 5 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. 6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. 7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. 8 Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. Deuteronomy 6:4-9

This does not sound hands-off to me!

Come, my children, and listen to me, and I will teach you to fear the Lord. Psalm 34:11.

This sounds like parents who know not only what they believe, but WHO they believe, and they want more than anything else that their children will be believers also.

Have you ever thought what a statement and commitment the act of circumcision was for both the parent and child? At eight days, the parents committed their child to faith in the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. They physically marked the child to distinguish him from all the children who were not of Jewish families.  And circumcision was the command of God, so it wasn’t thought up by over-zealous, religiously, fanatical parents.

Here are now my words of encouragement to you about parenting your children so that they will have a heart for the mission of God.

  • Be confident in your own faith, so confident that you MUST share it with your children first! Youthful questioning and searching needs to give way as we become parents, not to dogmatism, but to confident faith—faith that doesn’t have all the answers, but knows that God is God!
  • God picked YOU to be the parents of your children; it wasn’t an accident. YOU were chosen to be the caretakers for one of His precious children, so He must believe YOU can accomplish with those children what He wants.
  • Of course, you have to depend on HIM for wisdom and help in child-rearing because you feel inadequate! But God has put ALL of His earthly treasures in earthen vessels. He is OK with our weaknesses and inadequacies. If we are fearful because of our weakness, we are confessing our own doubts about the power of God in our lives.
  • Enjoy the work of God! We are happiest when we are doing His work within His will. Teaching your children to love God and walk in His way is undoubtedly His work and His desire, so . . . delight in doing it!  Then your children will delight in Him also!

Letting children just happen is not the way of God! Your children are meant for Him. Your children were created for Him!  And God blessed your children with YOU! Be confident in your parenting and repeat the Word of God to them “again and again!”

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Raising Kids With A Heart For Missions: How Old Before They Go?

Posted in Raising Children To Have A Heart For Missions, tagged , , , , , , on October 28, 2010| 2 Comments »

We were sitting with friends last night and talking about mission trips–probably no surprise to you!  They are a family of four, with a boy of six and a girl of four.  This couple is very active in their local church, but also have a heart for foreign missions, so the dad asked me what I thought was a good age for their children to actually go abroad.

Great question, Dad! And the right question!  Let me try to answer it with a variety of insights for all of you whose children might be of very different ages.  Let me just say that I will be talking about mission projects like Let’s Start Talking projects that have always been pretty family friendly in that workers

  • go to one place and stay there for the duration of their mission project,
  • they have a pretty regularly scheduled day,
  • they are usually housed independently,
  • they are working with people in a pretty contained environment, and
  • they have a certain degree of control over their eating arrangements

Of course, if you are going on another type of mission project, you will have to weigh all of those factors in order to make your decision.

I don’t think there is a too young! Parents who take their very infant to school age children–and we have many–have great experiences that shape their children, even though the kids themselves will only have the vaguest memories of the actual trip.  What they remember though are the pictures you take and the fact that they have been to Japan or Germany or Argentina! And they have a passport!

Here’s how some parents with very young children make this possible!

  • The parents each work half with the children and half with the mission project. Of course, I would argue strongly that each parent is working full-time with two different mission projects, if you see your children as the most important mission God has given you!
  • Many parents recruit an older teen or college student to go with them as their helper. The helper gets to do some of the mission project too, but is mostly responsible for helping with the children.
  • Some families travel with other families with children and share the fun!
  • Many families recruit grandparents to go with them and be a part of the mission with the children. (I especially like this one!)
  • Sometimes both parents can’t go, so then the single parent definitely will need a helper–but he/she can still make it work!

Elementary school-aged children make the very best mission partners! They are independent enough not to need your constant attention, but still eager enough to please you that they really want to be a part of what you do!  This is perhaps the most impressionable time in their lives–and they will remember almost everything they do.  They can’t really “work” a full day, but they will be just fine if you can give them a couple of hours of good attention each day!  Here are some special ideas for elementary-aged children

  • They can accept certain “tasks” as their responsibility and this makes them feel like part of the mission!  I’m talking about things like playing with children that might come with their parents to your project, or even telling younger children Bible stories–not all day, but certainly some time spent “working” will be just what they want.
  • Playing with or spending time with the local missionary’s children. Forget about language barriers; children hardly even notice language differences.
  • They especially love preparing for parties or social events. If you need name tags or something special, perhaps your kids can help you make it.
  • Giving them private chronicling tasks, like journaling or creating a picture album of their mission, whether by drawings or a simple camera is something that helps make their mission project meaningful!

Teenagers are the hardest age–only because they have a mind of their own–which is, of course, what you are wanting for them–someday! Younger teens can be great mission partners. Until they are 14 or so, they probably want to work right beside you on your mission project–and you should let them.  But, by 15 and later, the mission project is competing with summer fun with their friends, Bible camp, summer school, summer sports activities–just lots of stuff, and I think you need to respect their needs, not just assume that they will continue to be ready to go whenever you call.  Here are some points to remember:

  • Teens are not the center of the universe even though they think they are! You can still set their agenda, but you may have to negotiate it instead of dictating it. This means something like what we did with our kids at this age: you have to spend six weeks with us in Europe, but we will send you to camp for four of those weeks.  Or you can stay home for two weeks with your cousins, then you can go to soccer camp for two weeks, but then you join us for the last three weeks.  Everyone needs to learn to compromise–teens and parents.!
  • Sometimes all it takes with teens is letting them have their best friend go with them!  Why not?
  • Whether at home or abroad, teens may think they are adults, but they are not, so don’t expect them to be! Once when Emily was about 16, she was staying with her brothers (18 & 20) at home for a week or two before we arrived home. Naturally, all kinds of household disasters happened: the dog chewed up the curtains and tore down a door trying to get to a bird that had come down the chimney, a squirrel got into the house and wreaked havoc, and then the hot water heater in an upstairs closet sprang a leak and dripped down through the ceiling. Emily called us in tears and said, “Please come home. I don’t want to be responsible any more!”  Of course not!

The best answer I can give you about when to take your children on mission projects is to start with them as young as you can and go often! The absolute worst answer is to wait until they are older and will appreciate it!  I promise you they will appreciate it when they are teenagers so much more, if they have already fallen in love with it as children.

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Raising Kids to Have A Heart for Missions: Teach Them To Read!

Posted in Raising Children To Have A Heart For Missions, tagged , , , , , , , , on October 26, 2010| 3 Comments »

Our  seven year-old granddaughter Anna was dressed for Sunday a little early last week, so she sat down with her Bible and started reading Psalms.  Then I heard her start singing Psalm 1, just making up a melody as she went. It was actually pretty good. When finished with Psalm 1, she went on to Psalm 2 and so forth until her sister got ready and we could leave.

We got into the car to drive to church and Anna was still singing. I noticed then that she stopped, flipped the pages in her Bible, then burst out into “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—for your love is more delightful than wine.”

I didn’t slam on the brakes, but I did look over and see that she had opened her Bible and was beginning with Chapter One to sing the Song of Solomon. Yikes!  I said, “Anna, what are you singing?” She stopped and said, Well, I’ve never read the Song of Solomon before, but if he wrote a song, it must be beautiful, so I wanted to sing it!”

No matter how precocious she is, I did not think her ready for the fawns and gazelles, so I diverted her attention from the Song of Songs—only temporarily, I’m sure.

Sherrylee and I will not have much to leave to our kids when we are gone, but we will leave with all of them our love for reading. Our parents gave it to us as a special gift—and we are both very grateful.  Both Sherrylee and I were the kind of kids who would check out ten books at a time—the weekly limit—from the Bookmobile that came through the neighborhood during our childhood summers.  I don’t read that many anymore, but I did just get a Kindle for my birthday.

When we were taking our younger children to Europe each summer, one of the most pleasant pre-departure tasks we had as parents was to find and pack enough books for the 8-10 week trip. We often took a whole suitcase full of nothing but books for the family—back before the airlines charged for extra luggage.  We would buy them at the half-price book stores, or we would check them out of the local library.  We may still have some lost book fines to pay in Edmond—don’t anybody check, please!

Now Philip and Emily both got into reading pretty easily, but Benjamin was more of an outdoors kid, so he didn’t really want to slow down long enough to read much. We worried a little about his reading—not his skills, but his love for reading, whether or not he would develop it.  The summer before third grade though, however, was the breakthrough. Before he had only been reading the simplest little books to satisfy his teachers at school, but that summer, I remember walking up to the attic room in Hannover, Germany, where we were housed and finding Ben totally absorbed in Lord of the Rings!  He read the whole book—and has continued to be a great reader to this day.

Rarely do our grandkids come for anything that Mimi (Sherrylee) doesn’t pull out a book or two to read to anyone who will listen to her!  But what does this have to do with raising children to have hearts for the mission of God??  I think you know, but let me just remind you.

  • Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path!(Ps. 119:105) If children grow up loving to read, they will also learn to love to read the Word. With the Word in their hearts, they will have a lamp for their feet and a clear path in front of them.  Don’t you want that for your children?
  • How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word.(Ps. 119:9) Purity of heart is part of knowing and fulfilling the mission of God. Purity of heart is not an accident. Purity is a result of the Word in the heart of your child, and at some point, what they read will become more important than what you tell them.
  • Then I will answer the one who taunts me, for I trust in your word.(Ps. 119:42) The taunts of children and/or teens are devastatingly damaging to the desires of our children. Reading gives them both the shield they need and the trust they need to win those battles.
  • Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. (Ps. 143:8) Confidence! Self-confidence is what we are tempted to desire for our children, but much better is God-confidence and they will only get that from knowing Him and how He has dealt with His creation throughout history. Past experience is what builds confidence.  Reading is a way to gather all those rich experiences and make them our own.

Our grandkids are just like yours or your own children: some like to read, some would rather watch movies, some only want to play outside, others are struggling to learn to read—just normal kids like yours. But their grandparents are praying that they will be children, then teens, then adults who love to read. Their grandparents are giving them books, reading to them, and reading in front of them.  IT’S VERY IMPORTANT!

Over and over again, Jesus raises the question during his ministry:  Haven’t you read . . . ? Just look up the word read in Matthew, Mark, and Luke and be amazed at how often Jesus assumes that people should have known God’s will because it had been written for them.

I think he was saying, you are going to live in the heart of God’s Will so much more easily if you love to read . . . His Word!

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Raising Kids to Have A Heart for Missions: Teach Them To Be Friendly!

Posted in Raising Children To Have A Heart For Missions, tagged , , , , , on October 21, 2010| 2 Comments »

I really love my children.  Because I really love them, I’ve always thought it was important for them to love other people.

I also really love God. Because I really love God—who really loves people—I think it is important for my kids to learn to love other people.

Some children are just naturally more people-oriented than others. We have one little granddaughter whom we have to be a little cautious with because she is so easy with people that she will walk up to strangers, introduce herself, find out if they need anything, then proceed to try to take care of them. I once watched her at an ice skating rink–where she could just barely stand herself—find two teenagers who were less certain on ice than she was, introduce herself , and spend the next hour with them, teaching them how to ice skate.

Other children are just more shy, more self-conscious, more inhibited—pick your adjective! I don’t think parents get any credit for either of these types., nor should we think that either is more righteous than the other.  The fact is a person can be very gregarious and not love people. But you can also be reserved and not love people.

If we want our children to have a heart for the mission of God, then we must teach them to have the heart of God for people.

Here are a few suggestions for teaching your children to love others.  We’ll start with the most obvious tip of all.

  1. Show your love for others both publicly and privately. Being civil and polite in public, but critical and abusive about people in private will only teach your child to be a hypocrite. 
  2. Actively teach love for other people, starting with brothers or sisters. Encourage familial love. Don’t just stop abuse; encourage, reinforce active love for one another.
  3. Teach friendliness. Teach your child to introduce herself to people that she meets with you. Teach him to shake hands if people you are with are trying to be friendly. Teach them to look at people when your friends are talking to them. (I’ve tried to qualify all of these situations to recognize the danger of being too friendly with strangers—but don’t let fear keep you from teaching your child to be friendly.)
  4. Encourage your child to make new friends in appropriate situations. It’s not easy for the more naturally timid or fearful children, but that’s why God gave them parents!
  5. Take your children with you into appropriate community-building situations. I love the trend back towards children in worship with adults, in service projects with adults, even in team building/community building activities with adults.  Sharing experiences are where adults learn to love! It is no different for children.
  6. Expose children early to Diversity—before they even recognize it as Other! Kids barely notice “unloveliness” until they learn it from adults.  Be an adult who helps your children’s innocence develop into appreciation—even love for Others!
  7. Be aware of your child’s friendliness level. Be aware of their socialization skills. Be sensitive to their willingness to show love for others. Make it a point to talk about what you see with your child, so that they know it is important to you. Don’t ignore unloving behavior—ever! 

Kids can be friendly—all kids. Kids can act lovingly—all kids.  No excuses! As they grow in their capacity to love others, they are growing their capacity to have a heart for the mission of God.

 

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Raising Kids to Have a Heart for Missions: Who Is the Center of Your Universe!

Posted in Raising Children To Have A Heart For Missions, tagged , , , , , , , on October 20, 2010| Leave a Comment »

I love baseball! I started in Little League when I was 10 years-old and by the time I was eleven, I had found my position. I was a pitcher. I threw hard and could get the ball over the plate—all you need to dominate when you are eleven!

One Wednesday night when I was eleven, I was having a great night. After four innings of our five-innings game, the other team had no hits. I had pretty much struck out every batter.  But it was 7:15 and church started at 7:30.

My mom and dad gave me the choice of staying or leaving, but there was no doubt what they thought the right decision was, so we left the game and went to church.  No regrets, not really any big deal. In my family, it was just the right thing to do.

Now, I know that we have discovered that Wednesday nights don’t count—so it may be difficult to even relate to family values that were so different, but it is not about Wednesday nights. It’s about an 11-year kid learning that what he is doing is not the most important thing in the world.

That was 1958. Let me show you how that translated into the Woodward family of 1987. Ben, our middle son, loves everything sports, but especially baseball.  By the time he was eleven, he had played several seasons of Little League—or parts of several seasons.  You see, when Ben was four years old, Sherrylee and I started taking our family to Europe each summer for Let’s Start Talking mission projects.

I would usually go with the students about mid-May and Sherrylee would stay home with the kids until school was out about June 1.  Little league baseball season usually started about the first of May and went until the end of June.  This meant that Ben was only around for a couple of weeks of practice and a 3-4 games at the most–every summer.

We always registered Ben for Little League. We always paid the fee for the whole season and we paid for the uniform. We got the bat and the glove that he needed, and we made sure that he got to every practice and every game—BUT, Ben knew that baseball and his activities were not at the center of our familiy’s summer activities.

We did not ignore Ben’s needs. No matter where we were in Europe, we bought a daily newspaper for him so he could study the box scores and follow his baseball teams.  Every year, we asked friends who had Armed Forces Network television to tape the All-Star Game for us, and then whenever we passed through their city, we would all sit down and watch the All-Star game with Ben.

I don’t remember Ben ever complaining. I don’t know if he knew what he was learning.  He knew we loved him, but he knew that he was not at the center of our family’s universe.

I could have told you about purchasing dumbbells in Germany and taking them around wherever we went so that Philip could lift weights after he started playing prep football. We didn’t stay home.

We did all kinds of things for our kids while we were traveling every summer, knowing that we wanted them to love what we were doing. We went to theme parks, we put all three of them in German church camp, and one summer we even arranged for Philip to go to soccer camp in the Netherlands—where he was the only “foreigner.”  But we did not stay home!

For most kids, I would not advise preaching the “seek ye first the kingdom of God” sermon to make this point. That’s a sermon for parents.  For kids, it suffices to learn from the decisions their parents make that the world—especially the world of their family—does not center on them! They are important—but not the center.

Then, of course, the big question becomes what is the center of your family’s universe? If you want to make sure that your children grow a heart for the mission of God, then make sure they see you making decisions that clearly make the mission of God the center of your family’s world!

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Raising Your Children To Have A Heart for Missions: Does Your Kid Like Gyros?

Posted in Raising Children To Have A Heart For Missions, tagged , , , , , , , on October 15, 2010| 1 Comment »

Being afraid of foreign things is part of the Fall, I suspect. I know that we have encountered this same fear in children all over the world.  In Africa, the little children who have never seen a white person run away crying. In Japan, the little children cautiously want to touch our “round” eyes.  The Chinese can’t keep their hands off the blonde hair of some American children.  If we want our children to have a heart for the mission of God, then we have to begin helping them not be afraid or put off by foreign things.

In fact, what would happen if they loved foreign things? God so loved the world . . . which was very foreign, so perhaps learning to love foreign things is learning to be more godly!

Here are a few ideas for you to help your kids (and yourself) love the world—the whole world, not just your small corner of it!

  • Never talk disparagingly about foreigners and foreign things! We all know that prejudice and bigotry are passed on from generation to generation, but sometimes only very subtly.  You don’t have to wear a white cap and robe to teach your children to be racists.  Just your typical racial jokes or stereotyping will suffice. The same with their attitude toward foreigners. What do you say about the men who cut your grass or the teaching assistant that is difficult to understand? What do you say about foreign cars, foreign athletes—even about immigration issues?
  • Expose your young children to foreign foods. Instead of just Happy Meals and hamburgers, take your kids for a gyro sandwich on pita. Some of our grandkids like Sushi (I don’t), but all of them think that the Hibachi steakhouse is the best treat ever for special occasions. Our son’s family found a German deli where they could buy Brötchen and other German things, so we had a very fun German breakfast together one morning!  Take your pick from all the countries of the world and explore their foods. Remember, they are all going to be at the banquet of the Lamb!
  • Encourage your children to start learning other languages as early as possible. I love that Dora the Explorer and other kid shows expose the pre-schoolers to Spanish. Did you know that only about 1/3 of American children take any foreign language in school!  No wonder we are internationally illiterate. I just read that 200 million Chinese children are learning English and only 24,000 American children are learning Chinese.  Who do you think will influence whom in the future?  For us Christians, the question is not political; it is who will share their heart for/against God with whom?
  • Watch foreign movies! (Now I’ve really crossed a line, haven’t I !!) With all the rental possibilities now, you have access to children’s movies from around the world. Yes, they may be subtitled, but unless you make a big deal out of that, your children won’t.  Maybe start with films from England or India in English. There are also cartoons. Sure they are different—that’s what foreignness is!!  You might even try some yourself!
  • Look for schools that offer the International Baccalaureate Diploma Program! The IB program, which is an internationally recognized curriculum, is gaining some popularity in the U.S,  You do find it in public schools as well as private schools.
  • Give your child an early experience abroad—anywhere! Lots of soccer teams, choirs, bands, etc. are doing international trips. Encourage this. Of course, a mission trip would be even better.
  • The absolutely best thing you can do is to take your children with you overseas—especially on a mission trip. The combination of watching the people they love and admire the most, interacting with foreign people and foreign situations, together with their own unique opportunities to experience foreignness are the best heart-forming experiences hands down!

I do need to warn you that loving foreign things is not very American—to our own shame! I do believe, however, that it is very Christian.  Perhaps we should take Paul’s words more seriously when searching our own hearts to discern our attitudes toward foreigners:

“Remember that at that time you were separate . . . excluded from citizenship  . . . and foreigners . . . But now you who once were far away  have been brought near through the blood of Christ . . . .Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God’s people!” (Ephesians 2:12-19).

As God loved us foreigners, so we should love other foreigners—and teach our kids to do so also. By doing so, we will certainly see a heart for the mission of God grow in them.

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Raising Children to Have A Heart For Missions: Can They Sleep Without Their Blankey?

Posted in Raising Children To Have A Heart For Missions, tagged , , , , , , on October 14, 2010| 4 Comments »

I once mentioned to our daughter Emily while planning a family road trip, that she might enjoy the trip more if she invited a friend to go along with her.  She appreciated the gesture, but her negative reaction surprised me.  She said, “Dad, none of my friends ever do car trips with their family. They say they could not stand to be cooped up together in the car for so long at one time!”

My surprise has been reinforced many times since then with parents who won’t fly with their children “because the kids could never sit still that long,” or parents who won’t disrupt their children’s schedules for . . .  well, for almost any reason.

Believe me, I do know the hassle of packing for a family of five, the challenge of driving thousands of miles with three kids in the back of a Volkswagon Golf, of dealing with jetlag with a baby that can’t tell time, so I’m not oblivious to what it takes.

On the other hand, how will we ever teach our children to have a heart for missions, if we as their parents are not willing to do whatever it takes to expose them to the life of one who lives within the mission of God?

We will approach this same question from many angles, but today I want to talk about instilling in your children an essential trait for everyone who loves the mission of God—flexibility!

I don’t know where Sherrylee and I got this idea, but very early in our marriage, we decided that our children would learn flexibility from the very beginning of their lives.  This was a conscious decision on our part, not just a necessary reaction to our lifestyle.

But what did this mean in practice?  At their earliest ages, it meant the following:

  • Wherever we went, they went! At three weeks, baby Philip traveled to Cologne with us where he got stuck in his Kinderwagon in the revolving doors of the Cologne cathedral!  Ben flew back to the States with Sherrylee and Philip (2 ½ ) at six weeks, and Emily had four Atlantic crossings by the time she was six months old.  LST started in 1980 when our children were 6, 4, and 2, and we all spent 6-10 weeks traveling together by plane, train, and car for the next ten years. 
  • We never reinforced “structured requirements” like sleeping in my own bed, special blankets or dollies that they couldn’t do without, or even “shhhh, no noise while the baby is sleeping!” If this sounds draconian to you, let me just defend myself a bit by saying that we were not compulsively structure busters, but we just did not want our kids to require these things in order to be decent human beings!
  • We did not really ever find the words “I’m bored” to be appropriate. Our kids road in our back seat for literally thousands of miles each summer as we traveled between LST mission points.  This is where they learned to do without television, to read, to listen to all kinds of music, to beat their parents in games like the ABC game or Bible Twenty Questions (Ben stumped us all once with “the white knight”!  We said, Ben, there is no white knight in the Bible. He replied, Yes, there is—in the book of Revelation—and he was right! Read Revelation 6.)
  • The children never heard their parents use their needs as an excuse for avoiding something important! I will admit that sometimes we were so tired that while staying in other people’s homes, we fought over who got to go in and put the kids to bed—and we usually fell asleep as well! In fact, what I see not only in our own family, but in the families that take their children on missions is that the children become the reason FOR going, never an excuse for NOT going.  What is the message any child at any age gets when he/she hears their parents say, “Well, maybe when the kids are older!” or “The kids are too busy with their summer activities!” or “It’s too much hassle with the kids. Maybe when we are empty-nesters!!”?

If you want your children to have a heart for the mission of God, then teach them from the first days of their lives to put the needs of others before their own—including things as basic as their own creature comforts.

We recently had a family stay with us that has spent well over a decade in Africa as missionaries. This family has two wonderful children, ages 10 and 12.  We heard from them after they arrived back in Africa and had been there a couple of days, the younger child said, “Dad, it’s so good to be home. I love Africa. I love to sweat. I really missed that in America! “ Children have a great capacity for flexibility—usually greater than the parents.

Teach your children to become all things to all people so that by all means some can be saved!

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Raising Children to Have a Heart For Missions? Is That What You Really Want?

Posted in Bible Study, Raising Children To Have A Heart For Missions, tagged , , , , , , , , on October 13, 2010| Leave a Comment »

For over thirty years, Sherrylee and I  have been dealing with parents who thought that their student’s desire to do an LST summer mission trip was at best just a one-time fling, and at worst, a frivolous, extravagant indication of their child’s immaturity.

A large number of our summer workers have come home wanting to change their majors from Accounting to International Business, or from Computer Science to Ministry—just exactly what their parents were afraid of!

Do you really want your child to grow up to be a missionary? Here are the obvious reasons why parents do not encourage this desire in their children.

  • No money in it.  In fact, you become dependent on the charity of others.
  • Not a success-oriented career.
  • No upward mobility.
  • Takes you away from the family. And what about the grandkids knowing the grandparents?
  • Makes you misfits! Everyone knows that missionaries don’t really fit into mainstream America after returning home.
  • Bad for your children. They grow up not speaking English, not playing baseball, and maybe even vegetarians.
  • It’s not safe. Stay home and live in Oklahoma City or Dallas or Los Angeles or New York City, where you’ll be safe.

I love the Old Testament story of Hannah, who can’t have children, so she prays—so hard that the observing priest thinks she is drunk.  Then she does something pretty preposterous: she vows to God that if given a son, she will “give him to the Lord all the days of his life”(1 Samuel 1:11).

If she hadn’t been quite so rash with her vows, she would have realized that she was giving away what she so desperately wanted—but I don’t think she saw it all that way!  When Samuel was very young, his mother took him to the priest and gave him into the ministry.  I’m sure there was pain in the moment, but the first words out of her mouth are:

My heart exults in the Lord; my strength is exalted in the Lord. . . . There is none holy like the Lord…there is no rock like our God (1 Samuel 2:1ff)

Hannah visits her young son each year, bringing him new clothes to wear. Samuel served the priest Eli humbly for many years until one day the Lord called his name! Yes, that is what happens when we raise children to be servants of God.  They are called–and not to that which we may have planned for them.  Samuel does not become high priest. Samuel does not become king over Israel. Samuel does not become commanding general of the armies of Israel.  Scripture says,

“And Samuel grew, and the Lord was with him and let none of his words fall to the ground. And all Israel from Dan to Beersheba knew that Samuel was established as a prophet of the Lord” (1 Samuel 3:19-20).

Here’s what I glean from this story that will help you have a child with a heart for God’s mission:

  • Recognize that your child is a gift from God, that he/she belongs to God, and that if God had not answered your prayers, you would have nothing!
  • Having recognized that your children belong to God, don’t hold on to them as if they are yours. Give them back to His service at a very young age. I don’t know exactly what this means search for any answer about our children.
  • Teach your children to serve the Lord by placing them in the hands of those who do serve the Lord. (1 Samuel 1:11) Learning to serve is almost always the first step, not learning to lead.
  • Support your children in their service! (1 Samuel 2:19)
  • Teach your children to hear the voice of the Lord calling their name! And if you can’t do that, then bring people into their lives who can! (1 Samuel 3:1-14)

So the first step in helping your children have hearts for the mission of God is to search your own heart as a parent!  What precious item belonging to God are you trying to keep for yourself? Are your desires for your children covered in prayer by the words, “not my will, but Yours be done?”

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Raising Children To Have Hearts For Missions: Preview

Posted in Raising Children To Have A Heart For Missions, tagged , , , , , , , on October 12, 2010| 1 Comment »

Sherrylee and I are going to California today to be with our daughter Emily and her wonderful family. We had to get up at 5am to catch an early flight, so I woke up even earlier, thinking about—and giving thanks to God—for the family that He has blessed us with.  Our family members—starting with the Mom and Dad—each have their own battles, but there is much, much more that keeps us thanking God for His undeserved graciousness in our lives.

One of the characteristics of our children—and their families now– that I personally take great delight in is that our grown children, now in their 30s, all love missions!  Of course, that they are all involved in various ways in Let’s Start Talking is one of the great joys of our life, but even more importantly, they each have what today is called missional hearts.  I think what that means is that they are both sensitive to and burdened by the needs of others to know Jesus and they actively do something about it.

I’d like for you to have this measure of joy when your children are grown, but I don’t have any formulas. Sherrylee and I certainly had a desire to see our children like this, but we did not have a plan to ensure it. I feel a bit like Peter: “Silver and gold I don’t have, but what I have, I will give to you!”

Over the next few days, I’d like to share with you some ideas that we have discovered in retrospect. These are lessons that God has taught us, and so we share them with you.  Don’t hold me to this outline–I often discover that some of the topics are really two or three and others are just bits and pieces–but here are some of the big ideas I want to explore with you.

  1. Do you really even want your kids to be missionaries?
  2. Teaching kids to be flexible.
  3. Teaching kids to love foreign things, not be afraid of them.
  4. Teaching kids by example and by participation.
  5. Teaching kids instead of just letting them happen.
  6. Making missions fun and meaningful for kids
  7. Teaching kids that they are not the center of God’s creation
  8. Teaching kids to love people, not just to be loved.
  9. When to let your kids do what they want to do, not what you want them to do.
  10. Giving your kids to God!

OK, that’s way too much, but maybe you get a hint of where I want to explore in the next few days.  I hope you will go with me.

P.S.      Did you know that you can subscribe to this blog and that by doing so, a link to it will come to your email whenever there is a new post. I usually create a new file for blogs that I subscribe to and have those go right into the file rather than cluttering my inbox, so that I can stop and read it when I have time to.  Click on the Subscribe button on the home page of this blog and you can do the same—if you think it will simplify your life a little

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