He and his wife had been close family friends. He was a well-respected preacher for one of the better congregations in town. Then he became one of my heroes when he and his family moved to a foreign country and became missionaries. His reports were what helped kindle the fire for missions in my own heart.
It’s an all too familiar story. I don’t know the details, but he was caught up in adultery, his wife and children left him, he lost his support, returned to the States pretty broken–a minister who had lost his way, his family, his work, his life. You’ve seen this too.
Years later, I was visiting with him and his second wife. He had found a humanitarian organization that would support him to work in a small village in a third world country, so he, now late in years, was leaving the States, having sold insurance to make a living for a couple of decades, finally able to use his marvelous gifts in a special way for God again. He will work anonymously there and probably die there—he and his second wife. I’m thankful for his redemption—and mine.
The one time that we visited just before he left, he made a special point to say, “Mark, I want you to know that although we love each other, both of us realize that our sins against God and our mates were terrible. The cost of what we lost and the damage to others which we inflicted can only be forgiven, never repaid. “
It’s not law that we need to stop the tidal wave of divorce; it’s not judgment! It’s Truth! Speaking the truth in love is what will set us free!
If you are divorced, please do not hear my plea as judgment; rather, join me in saying that Sin causes divorce. And God hates Sin! And the consequences of Sin are pain, destruction, even death without the Grace of God.
If you were sinned against, then you know better than anyone why God hates Divorce.
If you sinned against your spouse, then you know better than anyone how destructive guilt and shame are and why God hates Divorce.
Tell the truth in love, if you want to teach your children and mine to hate Divorce.
Tell your friends who are thinking about divorce the honest truth. Talk to them about Sin, not happiness. Unmask the lies they are telling themselves. Describe the loss and destruction—the collateral damage to their children, their friends, their church.
No matter what we do, there will be spouses who must escape from abusive relationships, dangerous relationships, who are abandoned or betrayed. Divorce is part of our broken world that we all are enduring until the Lord comes again and makes everything right.
But I do believe we Christians can be a part of that redemptive process now by teaching our children and teens and young singles and young couples and marrieds and parents and classics that God hates divorce!
Mark's Blog 